What Parents Should Know When a Child Turns 18

You know your child’s 18th birthday means adulthood.

What may be less obvious is what that means for you.

Your son may still live at home. Your daughter may still be on your health insurance. You might pay the car insurance, help with appointments, cover tuition or rent, and remain the first person they call when something goes wrong.

None of that necessarily changes on their birthday.

But your legal role does.

Under Michigan law, turning 18 generally means your child now has the legal rights, responsibilities, and capacity of an adult. Decisions you once made for them are now theirs to make.

Most of the time, that transition happens without much difficulty. You remain their parent, they continue coming to you for advice, and life moves forward.

The difference can become much more important when something goes wrong.

If your 18-year-old is hospitalized, can you access their medical information? If they cannot make a healthcare decision, can you automatically make it for them? If an important financial or legal matter needs attention, can you simply handle it because you are their parent?

Those are the questions families may not think about until they suddenly need the answers.

YOUR CHILD’S MEDICAL PRIVACY HAS CHANGED

For most of your child’s life, you have probably been closely involved in their healthcare. You scheduled appointments, communicated with doctors, received medical information, and helped make decisions.

Once your child becomes an adult, that relationship changes.

Under federal HIPAA rules, a parent generally is no longer automatically considered the personal representative of a child once that child reaches the age of majority.

That does not mean a hospital or doctor can never communicate with you. HIPAA allows healthcare providers to share certain information with family members in particular circumstances. But being the parent of an adult patient does not automatically provide the same access you had when your child was a minor.

Your adult child can authorize healthcare providers to share specified information with you or another trusted person.

For parents, the important conversation is not simply, “Will you call me if something happens?”

It is also: “If something happens and you need my help, have we made sure I can actually help?”

BEING INFORMED IS DIFFERENT FROM MAKING DECISIONS

Medical privacy is only part of the issue.

There is also the question of who can make healthcare decisions if your adult child cannot participate in those decisions themselves.

Michigan law allows an individual who is at least 18 and of sound mind to execute a Designation of Patient Advocate, allowing that individual to choose another adult to exercise specified powers involving care and medical or mental health treatment under the circumstances provided by law.

That person could be a parent.

But now, your child chooses.

Attorney Andrew Potere of Estate Planning & Elder Law Services, P.C. says one misconception he wishes more families understood is that estate planning is only for wealthy or older people. “Estate planning is not just for the wealthy or the elderly,” he explains.

One of the questions he encourages people to consider is particularly relevant when a child enters adulthood: “Who will make decisions for me if I no longer can?”

Your 18-year-old may have very few assets. But they still have healthcare wishes, personal preferences, and people they trust.

Helping them think about those things is part of helping them enter adulthood.

YOU DON’T AUTOMATICALLY CONTROL FINANCIAL MATTERS EITHER

Parents frequently remain financially involved long after a child turns 18.

You may pay expenses, transfer money when they need it, help with taxes, or guide them through their first major financial decisions.

But financial support and legal authority are different things.

A financial power of attorney allows an adult to give an agent specified authority concerning financial and property matters.

Michigan’s Uniform Power of Attorney Act, which took effect July 1, 2024, governs these arrangements. Importantly, a financial power of attorney does not itself authorize someone to make healthcare decisions.

That distinction illustrates something parents should understand as their children enter adulthood:

There is not necessarily one document that gives you authority to handle everything.

Different circumstances may call for different types of authorization, and your adult child determines whom they want to appoint and what authority they want that person to have.

“BUT I’M STILL THEIR PARENT.”

Of course you are.

Turning 18 does not erase 18 years of parenting. It does not mean your child will stop asking for advice, needing financial support, or wanting you beside them during a difficult moment.

What changes is the assumption that the relationship itself automatically gives you legal authority.

Kimberly Smith, Intake Specialist at Estate Planning & Elder Law Services, P.C., sees a related misconception among families: the belief that simply being related to a client means someone is automatically entitled to information about that person’s estate plan.

That distinction becomes particularly useful for parents to understand once a child reaches adulthood.

Being family and having legal authority are not always the same thing.

And this applies whether your 18-year-old moved across the country or is sleeping in the bedroom down the hall.

DOES AN 18-YEAR-OLD REALLY NEED ESTATE PLANNING?

When parents hear “estate planning,” an 18-year-old probably isn’t the first person who comes to mind.

That is understandable.

Your child may not own a home, have significant savings, or possess anything resembling what most people imagine when they hear the word estate.

But planning at this age does not have to mean creating an elaborate estate plan.

It can begin with much simpler questions.

If something happened, who would your child want making healthcare decisions? Would they want you to have access to certain medical information? Would they want someone authorized to handle financial matters if they could not? And what would happen to the property, accounts, belongings, or even pets they already have?

Legal Assistant Kaitlyn Cwiertak says she wishes more young people would think about what they would want to happen to their “assets, belongings, and even pets if the worst were to happen.”

It is not about convincing every 18-year-old that they need the same plan as their parents.

It is about recognizing that the ability to make their own plan is one of the things adulthood gives them.

YOUR ROLE HAS CHANGED. IT HASN’T ENDED.

For 18 years, much of parenting involves making decisions for your child.

Then comes a gradual shift.

Instead of making those decisions for them, you begin helping them understand the decisions that are now theirs to make.

Legal planning can be part of that conversation.

Ask whom they would want contacted in an emergency. Talk about who they trust to make decisions if they could not. Explain why having access to someone’s information and having authority to act for them are not necessarily the same thing.

Most importantly, give them a voice in the process.

Because turning 18 isn’t about parents becoming irrelevant. It is about your child gaining the legal authority to decide how they want you to be involved.

HELP THEM PREPARE FOR THE PART OF ADULTHOOD NO ONE EXPECTS

Your child’s 18th birthday changes your legal relationship automatically.

Estate Planning & Elder Law Services, P.C. can help parents and their adult children understand the healthcare and financial planning tools available under Michigan law and determine what makes sense for their individual circumstances.

Your child may still call you first when something goes wrong. A little planning now can help make sure that when they do, you are in a position to help in the way they intended.

Call (888) PLAN-050 or email info@formyplan.com to start the conversation.